As the actors playing Jim Gordon and Batman belt out the final chords of "A Superstitious Cowardly Lot," Chicago checks herself in the backstage mirror and wrinkles her freckled nose. "Who dresses me?" she wonders. Giving the Gator a quick squeeze for luck, she tucks it away. "Wouldn't do for anyone to see that right now," she mutters.

(Chicago takes her place in the wings. As the heavy velvet curtains close around the scaled down set for BATMAN! The Musical, she pastes on a smile and walks on stage.)

"Good evening, ladies, gentlemen, Sith Lords, Legionnaires... Welcome to the first annual Damn Fine Awards!"

(polite applause, during which Chicago scans the crowd nervously)

"Brooke, you can let Bruce know the music's over, so it's safe to come back."

(a few giggles, and a voice that sounds suspiciously like Noel cries out "It's schwarbage!")

"Before we begin, some general recognition is in order for Kat, our esteemed list-mom."

(spot light pans to owner's box, where Katwoman sits regally, waving to the assembled citizenry. The crowd goes wild. Chicago tries not to start visibly at the brief glimpse of the masked Darklady in the shadows behind Kat.)

"We also should show our appreciation for the organizers of tonight's affair. Kerrie? Where are you?"

(A standing ovation as the spot surveys the crowd wildly for a moment, finally catching a bright red and green clad figure. Next to the boy wonder, Kerrie Smith scowls and continues hand counting a large stack of ballots. Chicago is not sure, but she thinks Robin is missing his R.)

"And thanks are also owed to Smittywing..."

(Spotlight finds Smitty-in-Nightwing's-body. Chicago reflects that the spot operator has probably had her eyes glued to Damn Fine ever since Smittywing entered the room. Raucous applause sounds and shouts of "Stand up!" and "Show us what you're working with!" fill the theatre. Dick Grayson, in Smitty's body, slumps in his/her seat, looking like s/he wants to sink through the floor.)

"Extra special thanks goes to DFA Strike Force Beta - our backstage team - Robin and Noel!"

(Spot finds Noel among the audience, fixes on Robin peeking out from the wings backstage.)

"And now, my esteemed fellow citizens --"

(loud cry from somewhere above the audience): "BANZAI!"

(Collective gasp as the crowd looks up and sees the animated Harley Quinn - not to confused with upstanding citizen cHarley - swinging down toward the stage on a jump line. Chicago steps handily aside and deftly snags Harley as she swings onto the stage, instantly immobilizing her at arm's length.)

"Scythe, put the particle gun down You're scaring the kids."

Will the show go on? Read the following transcript of the memorable event that was the 2000 Bludhaven Damn Fine Awards to find out!