The 2001 Bludhaven Damn Fine Awards

CAMERAS PAN THE OUTSIDE OF THE ROXY THEATER:

"This is Summer Gleason reporting for GCTV. Bludhaven's elite have begun filtering into the Roxy Theater for this year's Damn Fine Awards. Our cameras caught up with illustrious Haven citizens, including the regally dressed woman named Kat (also know as the Katwoman), rumored to actually own ALL of Bludhaven. Gotham City has also sent some of its notable citizens, including Billionaire Industrialist Bruce Wayne, escorting the lovely Bludhaven authoress, Gina Ivy. This year's awards show appears to be sold out --"

CAMERAS ON THE INTERIOR OF THE THEATER PANNING THE ENTRANCE:

:Robbie and Jack Malone were manning the metal detectors as the invited guests entered through the massive double doors of the Roxy Theater. Actually, Jack Malone was sitting on the counter swinging his legs as people walked through. He and Robbie were suppose to be stopping people if the buzzer sounded a metal object. Robbie was too busy swiping objects from the coin and key tray to stop anyone when the buzzer sounded. AND the buzzer sounded A LOT.:

CAMERAS ON THE INTERIOR OF THE THEATER PANNING THE CROWD:

:A large white rabbit, in army fatigues, standing by the front row arguing with the usher that he IS one of the authors invited to the show -- A head shot of the mysterious Dark Lady -- The fabulously dressed Noel, in her stunning strapless red DKNY dress with silver lightning bolts going around the neckline, surrounded by all her fictives and, hmm, Charlene's Tim fictive clutching tightly to her arm, as if seeking protection -- The always lovely Sarah who was standing near a young raven haired girl holding her high heels in her hand -- Tammy elegantly moving down the aisle in her silver sweater and ball gown skirt, her fictives, Jordy happily trying to run to his seat on one hand and Mara being dragged along with the other. The uniquely dressed but exam exhausted John is comfortably settled into his seat next to Jim who keeps nudging him awake with gristly details of how he 'killed' him in his latest project. The very pregnant and eloquently attired cHarley sits in her renovated owner's box, which has improved 'facilities' closer at hand. Dannell moves gracefully down the aisle to her seats with a warm smile as she sits next to another well clad and charming southerner, Sandra who is chatting with Arlene about Robin pre and post crisis. The seats are filling quickly with illustrious Bludhaven talent like the seasoned pros Darth Yoshi and Marcie Gore and new talents like Scribbles. Karen is holding up Bob in tux and tales to Amy, Rod and Cherize, who are discussing the how best to render the furball. Previous winners like the splendidly attired Reccea and first time nominees the Lauren move through the gathering crowd. The expectant hum of crowd is heard in between the voice over comments about the different designer's hits and misses in dressing the esteemed patrons.:

CAMERAS PAN ONTO THE STAGE:

:The red velvet curtains were still closed. Music filtering through the theater. Nothing seemed amiss. Everything seemed on schedule. The curtain started to rise.:

BACKSTAGE:

"What do you MEAN they forgot to put eye holes in the tap dancing girls' Bat costumes?" Charlene asked the DFA committee members.

"They're literally blind as a bat," Patty the reformed lurker replied.

Will the show go on? Read the following transcript of the memorable event that was the 2001 Bludhaven Damn Fine Awards to find out!